Trusted People
a supportive social network
Support for people with addiction problems has been shown to have a big impact on recovery. For support to be helpful it is best provided by those who care and are going to be there in the long term - trusted people.
Being a trusted person
Whether you are part of a network or an individual supporting a friend or family member, you might wonder what a trusted person should do. It is all about positive support for change. This means: i) helping to avoid situations where drinking and drug use is taking place; ii) helping to deal with feelings that increase the desire for drink or drugs; iii) helping to find alternative distracting and enjoyable activities; iv) being on the end of a phone or present in person when support is needed. It involves having discussions to explore new ideas for coping and improving life.
If you have a heavy drinking or drug use habit, or if your mental health is unstable then you are not going to be in a position to help. In these circumstances you might want to seek help for yourself. Also where you have a distressing relationship with the person you would want to help, then again this will prevent you from being able to give the kind of support that is most needed.
How to talk to each other
The type of help you give is best based upon mutual respect and understanding, negotiation of the way forward that is agreed between you, rather than one imposing on the other.
Learning to listen to each other, and to give each other a chance to put points of view, being able to receive constructive criticism – these are important principles.
Always remembering that you are on the same side.
Useful strategies for family and friends…
✔︎ Emphasise that the problem is the drink or drugs not the person
✔︎ Offer to work on a problem together
✔︎ Encourage setting achievable goals - a recovery plan
✔︎ Get the person to talk about their, not your, concerns about their addiction
✔︎ Boost self belief in being able to deal with drinking or drug use with examples of where things have gone well
✔︎ Encourage moving away from other people with addiction problems
✔︎ Encourage activities not associated with drinking, smoking or drug use
Getting support yourself
Being a trusted person can bring pressures and you might want support yourself: there may be a local carers’ group you would find helpful; there are mutual aid groups that give support to family and friends or it may be that support for you comes from a trusted friend or family member of your own. The same principles outlined above will apply. People often find it easier to be supported by someone who also cares and is concerned about the person with the problem. Always try to make sure that any group you join shares your ideas of how to go about things. We would not advocate approaches that involve distancing yourself from your loved one or friend - the evidence shows this is not an effective coping style and does not help them to get better.
